Released Souls by Karice Bolton

Released Souls by Karice Bolton

Author:Karice Bolton
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00


Chapter 13

My mom always wrote therapy letters. She swore by them, but I didn’t understand why she didn’t just confront the people who were bothering her or deal with the situations at hand. Her response was that she hoped I’d never find myself in a position that warranted a therapy letter, but if I did I’d finally understand.

Unfortunately, that time in my short life had arrived. I wanted to believe that everything was going to be okay. I wanted to believe that I wasn’t putting Logan’s life in danger by merely hanging around me. But look at Bakula. The guilt I kept trying to shove aside was weighing me down, and I just wanted to get it all off my chest without burdening anyone close to me. No one would understand anyway— not even Logan. He’d probably take everything literally and would be led to think he’s got a serious situation on his hands.

I looked outside the yurt and Logan was still sleeping outside on a bed of golden Larch needles. Now would be the perfect time to quickly pen all of my worries and frustrations, and then I could toss the letter in the fire before he woke up.

I gripped the pen tightly and stared at the empty page. Once I realized who I was writing to, the words came freely.

Dear Logan,

I love you in ways I never thought possible. You’ve seen my soul. We’ve shared our fears, desires, and dreams. I’ve told myself that nothing matters in this world except the love we have for one another, but I’ve come to realize that’s not true. That’s a fantasy that’s never attainable. It’s selfish of me to stay with you. Every moment that goes by I worry that something is going to happen to you and that it will be my fault. I’m tired of carrying that guilt.

My mind is burdened with the thought that I’ll turn out like my father. My heart is burdened with the thought that you’ll turn out like my father. And all the while does it even matter since my time with you won’t be for very long? Aren’t I just prolonging the inevitable by making you stay by my side?

There’s so much in this world that I need to see and take care of before I die. I can’t be held back because of us because of you. I struggled to let you in my heart, and now I’m struggling to let you out of my heart. I haven’t known the right time to say goodbye and maybe there isn’t a right time, but this letter will have to suffice.

I wish you the…

The tears were running down my cheeks, and I couldn’t even finish my letter. I looked at the blurred words and took a deep breath in.

My mom had been right. Sometimes situations were so complicated the only thing that would solve the problem was to see how incredibly asinine all the thoughts were that wanted to control the mind, privately. None of the things I listed made sense on paper or in the real world.



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